All Apparel is the whole Orange Liar wardrobe in one room: every tee, hoodie and baseball style, every character from the snakes to the skunks, hanging side by side like a closet that has strong opinions about the news. With that many personalities to choose from, the simplest way to explore it is to plan a week. Each day gets its own companion, and nobody has to repeat an outfit.
Monday through Wednesday
Start the week with The Swamp King, the rumpled rat in the brown suit with smoke curling off his tail, because Mondays deserve a character who looks exactly as tired as you feel. Tuesday belongs to Trumpette At His Finest, the donkey caught mid bray with his blazing mane blowing back, perfect for a day full of meetings where everyone talks at once. Wednesday calls for a little mystery, so reach for the tall figure in the navy suit and red tie whose shoes give way to a long snake tail coiling across the floor, his crown of orange hair hiding whatever face he is making. Half the joke is that you never quite see it.
Thursday through Sunday
Thursday is for Crime Boss, the jackal with the rainbow swirl eye and sweeping pompadour, since the week is nearly won and you can afford to look a little dangerous. On Friday, Beware The Golden Calf, shining in gold with his orange curl and elegant serif warning, makes a sophisticated choice for dinner out. Saturday is errand day, which means Keep the Cheese, Lose the Jailhouse Rat on buttery yellow for the farmers market. And Sunday, the day of rest, goes to The Swamp, that gangly duck-billed fellow with the lizard tail and a puff of fire leaving his beak, for a slow afternoon of reading headlines and shaking your head.
For the one with a character for every mood
This collection is for the woman who reads the room and dresses accordingly. Some days she wants a quiet grin, some days a bold statement, and some days just a pig in a necktie to keep her company. She has a favorite for every occasion, and she enjoys picking which friend from the menagerie gets to come along. On Friday morning she stands at the closet weighing the golden calf against the swirl-eyed jackal, laughing to herself before she has even had coffee. The week is long. The wardrobe is ready. And next Monday, the rat in the brown suit will be waiting right where she left him.
Written by James. Thanks for reading.
