Satire has leaned on the donkey for centuries, and it has never once let us down. The Donkey Collection is a barnyard of long-eared gentlemen who all happened to visit the same stylist: every one of them wears a tangerine swoop, a red tie and the calm certainty of an animal who believes he is the smartest one in the stable. Nobody has told them otherwise, which is the whole joke.
Big personalities, bigger manes
Trumpette At His Finest catches our hero mid bray, mouth wide open, his blazing orange mane blowing back like he is standing in front of a wind machine he ordered for himself. The Democracy Menace stands upright in a pressed white shirt and loud orange trousers, hands on his hips, posing for a portrait nobody commissioned. The Amazing Asshat strikes the same confident pose with one small detail he has not noticed yet: his tail is on fire. Another wild-maned pony trots along on flaming hooves with a silver tail streaming behind him, still wearing the tie.
The hypnotized herd
Then there are the eyes. Pure Bred Ass leans right into the frame with a pair of rainbow spirals where his pupils should be, looking deeply convinced of something. Drink Up gives you that same glazed, swirling stare, the face of a donkey who has had a very full glass of whatever was being poured. Simply an Ass keeps it short and sweet: one wide-eyed little donkey, ears straight up, tie centered, caption doing no extra work at all. And Donald Rump the World's Biggest Ass is the smallest of the bunch, a round-faced cartoon pony with a spiral eye and a fiery forelock, which is exactly why the title makes us laugh.
For the person who has been saying it all along
This collection belongs to the friend who has been calling it a donkey show since the first episode and never once raised her voice about it. She does not need a protest sign when a cartoon with swirly eyes can land the point for her. Send her to the family barbecue in The Democracy Menace and she will match his pose, hands on her own hips, without being asked. Around here the donkeys are dressed for the office, the manes are camera ready, and the tails are, as usual, quietly on fire.
Written by James. Thanks for reading.
