Home Accessories is where the whole Orange Liar menagerie moves in with you. The skunks, the rats, the ducks and the donkeys all leave the wardrobe behind and settle onto glossy black coffee mugs, their orange hair glowing against the dark like a porch light. Some bring along the captions you already know. Others arrive with a brand new message written just for the kitchen: a warning, posted politely, for everyone who picks up your cup.
Consider yourself warned
These are the mugs that read like signs on a gate. Beware the Golden Calf shows a gleaming golden bull calf with a swirl of orange hair and a red tie, standing proudly on his little hooves like an idol that has not noticed the crowd leaving. Beware the Pied Piper sends a grinning rat in a suit dancing along beside the words, leading a parade you have no intention of joining. Keep the Cheese, Lose the Jailhouse Rat pairs a striped, wild-haired rat with some very sensible pantry advice, and Steer Clear of Captain Chaos gives the scowling white duck a mug of his own, beak first. A Squawking Genius Is Still Just a Bird Brain rounds out the lineup with a fluffed-up orange bird and a caption that settles the matter.
The familiar faces, up close
On a mug the characters get bigger, and some of them look even better for it. The Crime Boss jackal fills the whole side with his rainbow swirl eye and sweeping pompadour. The Snakeoil Salesman grins wide, Pure Bred Ass and Drink Up stare out with their spiral eyes, and Just One Little Sip peeks over the rim with his hypnotized vulture gaze, which feels especially fitting on something you drink from. Sir Complains a Lot, My Open Mouth Spews Lies and The Swamp King all make the trip too, looking right at home next to the sugar bowl.
For the kitchen that has opinions
This collection is for the woman whose morning ritual is sacred: coffee first, headlines second, commentary third. She does not need to post her thoughts online when her mug can make the point quietly from the desk at work or the counter at home. At the office coffee maker, a coworker will read Beware the Golden Calf upside down and try very hard not to spit out his latte. Every great kitchen has a few rules. Hers just happen to be printed in orange, with a cartoon bull standing guard.
Written by James. Thanks for reading.
